In College, Is It Love or Infatuation?

More Than Meets The Eye

by UMES Junior Paul Cornelius Jerry

In College, Is It Love or Infatuation?

A lot of college students look to find love during their 4-years of college, but in reality some just find constant infatuations. Whether you’re a male or female, as humans we are attracted to things that are aesthetic, a baby, a car, or clothing. Beauty is not the same for each individual.

When I walk around campus I see a lot of people mixing love with infatuation. Infatuation is when you absorb passion and feelings in a folly manner foolishly for an instant. Just because it looks good and it appears to your visual sense; that does not mean it is going to appeal to your heart and your other 4 senses. Everything that looks good is not good, and everything that’s looks like gold is not 24K.

When you see someone who catches your eye, it might be love, but don’t always assume that it's love; because what you might like today might not be what you will like tomorrow. That person who you thought was gorgeous might have a messed up attitude or characteristics that you never expected to come from him/her. If you have been befriending a person and what was first infatuation starts to become a friendship and later more, growth of love can start to form. We don’t always plan to fall in love, however, we rush into it a lot of times, because we’re human; and the biggest need for humans is “to be loved” and to “feel love.” 

When deciphering whether its love or just an infatuation you  have to use your head, and not just what you feel, because feelings change like the temperature of the day.  You have to use logic and not just go with the flow. Your feelings are just a part of it; they are not 100% of the picture. They make up about 30% of the actual big picture. Your feelings might be on a high Monday towards that person, and then on Wednesday it’s a whole different ball game. We call it the “The Roller Coaster” affect, and that’s not what you want. However, if the feelings stay the same, and don’t change, from day to day then you know that you’re off to a good start.

Make sure you connect with that person on more than just the physical aspect. You should look towards connecting to him/her on a mental, physical, social, intellectual, and spiritual level. Don’t call it love when you just like what you see. You have to like the person for who they are, how they make you feel, and if they can make you a better person. You’ll know it when you find it.

UMES Family!

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