Real Life @ UMES

Thursday, October 18, 2012

In College, Is It Love or Infatuation?

More Than Meets The Eye

by UMES Junior Paul Cornelius Jerry

In College, Is It Love or Infatuation?

A lot of college students look to find love during their 4-years of college, but in reality some just find constant infatuations. Whether you’re a male or female, as humans we are attracted to things that are aesthetic, a baby, a car, or clothing. Beauty is not the same for each individual.

When I walk around campus I see a lot of people mixing love with infatuation. Infatuation is when you absorb passion and feelings in a folly manner foolishly for an instant. Just because it looks good and it appears to your visual sense; that does not mean it is going to appeal to your heart and your other 4 senses. Everything that looks good is not good, and everything that’s looks like gold is not 24K.

When you see someone who catches your eye, it might be love, but don’t always assume that it's love; because what you might like today might not be what you will like tomorrow. That person who you thought was gorgeous might have a messed up attitude or characteristics that you never expected to come from him/her. If you have been befriending a person and what was first infatuation starts to become a friendship and later more, growth of love can start to form. We don’t always plan to fall in love, however, we rush into it a lot of times, because we’re human; and the biggest need for humans is “to be loved” and to “feel love.”

When deciphering whether its love or just an infatuation you have to use your head, and not just what you feel, because feelings change like the temperature of the day. You have to use logic and not just go with the flow. Your feelings are just a part of it; they are not 100% of the picture. They make up about 30% of the actual big picture. Your feelings might be on a high Monday towards that person, and then on Wednesday it’s a whole different ball game. We call it the “The Roller Coaster” affect, and that’s not what you want. However, if the feelings stay the same, and don’t change, from day to day then you know that you’re off to a good start.

Make sure you connect with that person on more than just the physical aspect. You should look towards connecting to him/her on a mental, physical, social, intellectual, and spiritual level. Don’t call it love when you just like what you see. You have to like the person for who they are, how they make you feel, and if they can make you a better person. You’ll know it when you find it.

UMES Family!

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The Real Life @ UMES Blog is a place for our commentary and opinions about what life is really like @ the University of Maryland Eastern Shore. It is not designed to express the views and opinions of the University as a whole. Peace.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Education for the masses; has our educational system failed us?

Because I Said So

by UMES Senior Marina Anoh

Education for the masses; has our educational system failed us?

Reading, writing, arithmetic, is that enough? When I was in high school I received A’s in most of my courses. I graduated top of my class and was on the honor roll every quarter. This was something that my parents are very proud of till this day. The question in all this is whether or not I deserved these grades. I was always a very bright girl from a young age or so I was told. When it came to doing work my family instilled the value of education in my brain like words to a page. Education was the one thing my father told me “They” could never take away from me. Now, ask me who “they” are I wouldn’t be able to tell you. But still I believed he was right about that because how can someone really take away what you know since it is not a tangible object.

As I progressed through life I came to see that what I knew or at least what I thought I knew were not really things I learned in the class room. Little did I know that when I went to college I would be in for the shock of my life. Now, I am not going to sit here and say that everything that I learned in high school was of no use because it was. But, I will say that when I arrived to my university I was surprised at the work load and the level of understanding that I was expected to have, especially going into my major requirement classes. I am a fast learner and so I came to the learning curve quickly and soon it was no longer a challenge. But everyone isn’t like me, there are people who will find this challenging.

University students graduate in 5 to 6 years instead of 4 years. According to David Zorn in an article called Reading, Writing and Arithmatic Are No Longer Enough ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-zorn/career-college-trend_b_1616691.html) we were once leaders, but the U.S. now ranks 20th in the world in graduation rates, and that’s only higher than two other countries – Canada and Russia. We must all start to do what we need to and take part in assuming responsibility for this. As university students especially at an HBU we have to work hard and graduate as we are the future of our country. I believe we are becoming lazy and content with graduating late and sometimes not at all. I don’t blame the educational system. I do not blame the schools; I blame us for wanting the easy way out of things and not striving for more in life.

Today is a new day. As students we have to work hard and know that nothing in life will just be given to us. Because I didn’t really have to work hard in high school for the grades I received I found myself struggling in later work. I say that to say this, our educational system is put in place to help us gain knowledge but I found that in some cases it could also hinder us. I see some of my classmates say “oh at least I’m still graduating”, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I can’t help but wonder why they are graduating late. Were they well prepared for college? Were they just not focused? Or maybe, they were just victims of a failing education system? Whatever the reason may be I say no more.

Enough is enough.

The times of taking math 109 four times before passing are over. The days of getting D’s and F’s in Chemistry are times of the past. We must want to do well in school then continue our lives. Not stay here forever. When we graduate we are already in debt. Adding two and three more years to that amount is completely senseless.

4 years should be our goal, no more no less.

Why? Because I said so.

UMES Family!

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On Top Of The Mountain: Now What?

The UnSpoken Word

by UMES Senior Vicente Hernandez

On Top Of The Mountain: Now What?

It's that time of the year again. Squirrels are finishing up storing their nuts, birds start heading south, and winter graduates get ready for the real world. Yup thats right folks graduation time is almost here. We've almost reached the top of this mountain called education. Yet, I feel like we've underestimated what's really going on around us. Like in the real world once a person reaches the top of let's say Mt. Everest they are overly excited. Yet, does anyone ever consider what happens next.

Picture this, your standing at the top of the mountain looking on unto the beauty of the world. You love every second, but you don't go and build a house spending the rest of your days there. You pack up and start your trail back down. We never think about what's next. All a person ever considers is what steps are needed to be at the top of what ever their doing. Even more frequently we lose focus on why we are climbing our "mountains" anyway.

Lets take this graduation thing again. Can you say you honestly want to graduate to learn all you can learn or because this is what the world asks of you? Granted this indeed is a requirement for a lot of great jobs, but a better motive is needed.

We can't expect to move forward expecting great futures if we didn't put any effort in these small steps we have in front of us. That also falls in line with planning. It's time to grasp the concept that yes, we are going to get out of college one of these days, gain skills to succeed, and encounter experiences that will set us on our glorious paths. But if we haven't planned for what happens next or a have an idea what we want to do, we've wasted time.

I don't know about you, but I would want all the hard, lets just say time, to be considered more than just a wish or wasted existence. We all have a purpose in this life. So lets do what is needed to be ready when it knocks at out door.

Be blessed,

Vicente Hernandez

UMES Family!

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Yet another Exclusive Amber Rant: Excessive Wrapping

A Dash of Am

by UMES Senior Amber Green

Yet another Exclusive Amber Rant: Excessive Wrapping

Not too long ago on the shuttle, while the driver waits for every single person who decided to take an extra 10 minutes, totally disregarding that I have a 10 am class, I noticed that bonnets and silk scarfs resembling turbans and Tupac are still a go-to accessories for early morning birds on campus. So while I wait (because it really does take 30 min to get on campus), I analyze the situation.

Problem #1: It is professional dress Monday and ladies are either dressing like they're going to the club or worse, the corner store to pick up some milk and cash a check. That is not cute, let alone professional. I get it, I’ve been there, those 8:00 am classes are no joke. You wake up late, only have 30 min. to get ready and 15 of that is in the shower. There is no time for a flat iron or to put a curl anywhere. I have a solution. It works. It fixes it all. I’m talking about a pony tail.

All you need is a brush, some Pink Lotion, a hair tie, and if you are natural or failed to get that relaxer this week, some Jam for your edges. It’s not that hard. It’s simple and professional.

“But it’s just class, Dang!”

Wrong. Treat class like it was a job. Sometimes, I wish professors would deduct points for not coming to class prepared, if not mentally, at least physically.

“I’m not trying to impress anybody.”

Wrong again. You don’t know who you will meet. Every day is a networking opportunity, especially at UMES.

Primary example (a turning point in my college career), I was headed to Career Services to get some material to prepare for this Career Fair they were having. I was wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, hair wrapped in this bright neon pink scarf, purse in one hand and Hawk’s Nest in the other! I was looking Bad (not the good bad but the bad bad). I’m speaking with the Receptionist at the front desk and the Representative from a leading company who was there looking for student interns comes walking out from the back. I knew who they were and just recently sent my application to their Human Resources Department.

You know what did? I left that office so fast; I was a track star for a quick second. What I could have done, if I was dressed decently? Introduce myself and begin networking.

So take it from me, leave your room as if you are trying to get a job. Market yourself. Do not be lazy. You represent yourself, your family, and when you are on campus, this school.

Take heed because my next blog post could be inspired by you.

UMES Family!

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Monday, October 15, 2012

What is Inspiration?

The Inspired Mind

by UMES Sophomore Moses Oloyede

What is Inspiration?

What is inspiration? Inspiration is being mentally stimulated to feel or do something.

Inspiration is behind all creation and all great works.

Inspiration is the start to achieving all your hearts desires.

Inspiration is infinite, endless, and limitless.

Often being inspired by a person makes you feel or want to do the same thing as that person. If you’re inspired and you don’t take action in any form it will die quicker than if you were to take action. When inspired by something or someone, it is best not to tell where you drew your inspiration from.

If you really want to get inspired one way I know is doing something that you’ve never done and tune in to it.

What you consistently think builds a root deep in your mind, or unconsciously. There are an infinite number of ideas that have not yet been discovered or inspired by someone. Einstein was a genius because he used more of his mind than the average person. They say the average human uses only about 10% of their mind which is their conscious. And 90% is subconscious. When you tap into your deeper mind this is where there are a limitless number of ideas seeking your attention and even ready to flow like cash in your pocket!

And guess what, this will come in the form of inspiration.

I love inspiration.

UMES Family!

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Ten Things to Do in Your 20’s – Part 2

Regurgitating Thoughts

Real Thoughts from your Average Chick

By UMES Senior Jordan Hamilton

Ten Things to Do in Your 20’s – Part 2

Age 25 – Give Back

Age 26 - We are so used to everything being handed to us on a silver platter, that often times we forget to reciprocate the gesture. There are so many people out there who would love to be in your shoes, but for whatever the case may be they cannot. As human beings we don’t realize how well our life actually is until we see someone else who has it ten times worse. Do something to help those people. Give back. All those clothes you have just sitting in your closet, donate them. All those canned goods you have taking up space in your cabinet, donate them. Go to a nursing home and visit the elderly, they would love to see someone as young and vibrant as YOU! Mentor a child at a local school or community center. Stop complaining about what you don’t have and focus on someone else for once. The smallest things make the biggest differences.

Age 26 – Go To Your Favorite Concert

Whether it be Lil’ Wayne or Carly Rae Jensen, we all have that artist we can’t get enough of. When you get in your car you’re listening to them. When you’re walking to class you’re listening to them. When you’re in the shower, you’re singing their lyrics to the top of your lungs. Yeah, you have a case of the overly obsessed fan. Don’t fret; we all get like that from time to time. There comes a time in one’s life when they should log onto ticketmaster.com and go see that favorite artist in concert. If you have not yet been to a concert in your life, you have not lived. Concerts are a time when one can let loose and enjoy themselves. There is a good chance that the artist you favor is on tour right now. Don’t wait any longer; get those tickets whether you decide to go alone or with a group of friends.

Age 27 – SAVE YOUR MONEY!

There is nothing wrong with splurging once every blue moon, but as we get older it is in our best interest that we start saving our money. The job market is terrible these days and not everyone is fortunate to have that well paying job, which means you have to work with what you have. Start to budget. If you don’t need it, don’t buy it. It’s all about having self control. Everyone female wanted to be independent after Destiny’s Child came out with their hit single, “Independent Women” and every male wanted to be independent after Webbie came out with his hit single, “Independent”. There is nothing wrong with asking for help when it is needed, but sometimes our pride may get in the way. Start saving your money today and you won’t have to ask for help. Put those new Jordan’s back on the rack and those 20 inches of Malaysian hair. That’s a want, not a need. As college students of course we want to stay on top of the newest trends, but when all that money is gone don’t go running to your parents. SAVE! SAVE! SAVE!

Age 28 – Don’t Regret

We have all done something in our past that we said we would take to the grave with us. Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. Don’t regret. As humans it is in our nature to make mistakes. God never puts us through anything we can’t handle. Regretting just causes us to think too much and punish ourselves. The whole point of making mistakes in life is to remind ourselves what not to do in the future. Next time you do something you wish you could take back, don’t regret it, just move on and roll with the punches.

Age 29 – See the World

The world is such is beautiful place and there is so much to see. We’ve all been asked that question, “Have you ever been to another country?” Some people have answered yes and then we have those who have reluctantly answered no. Who doesn’t want to travel the world and see all its beauty? It’s no fun to just stay in one spot all your life. Yes, flights are ridiculously expensive these days and it’s no fun going through customs, but once you land it is all worth it. A lot of students are graduating this year, taking a trip somewhere far away would be a great graduation gift. If you don’t want to take that leap just yet, start out with baby steps and travel to another state. New York is one of the most popular states to travel to. Good food, scenery and shopping all in one, sounds good to me. Start saving up your money NOW! Next time someone ask you where you have traveled you, you will answer with chipped “yes” instead of a reluctant and unenthusiastic “no”.

UMES Family!

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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Dealing with Death in College "Use it as Motivation, Not a Hindrance"

More Than Meets The Eye

by UMES Junior Paul Cornelius Jerry

Dealing with Death in College "Use it as Motivation, Not a Hindrance"

No one ever expects there love one to die, especially while they're in college.

I found out that my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer 15 months before March 7th of 2010. I watched her battle this crazy sickness for months and I just knew in my mind that she was going to overcome it. During the Fall semester of my sophomore year she lost her hair and was afraid to show me her hair underneath of her wig. I had to explain to my mom how beautiful she was and to convince her to show me her head underneath that wig. That December we took her out to eat at Olive Garden as a Family and from that point on her body got worse.

By the time I went back to college for the Spring semester she had been admitted in the hospital. She stayed there for about two weeks then she went into hospice. I came home to see her before our Kappa Step Show for homecoming and she looked so weak but she still had a smile on her face. When I looked at her legs I could tell that the cancer had been eating her up because they were smaller. I didn't want to participate in the step show but she told me to still do it, so I went back to school that Sunday. Two weeks later my sister told me the doctors said she didn't have much time to live and that I needed to come home to see her.

I fought in the Golden Gloves that Friday night against one of the top guys in the country in my weight class. I dedicated that fight to my mom, but I lost by 2 points. Immediately after my fight my pops Mr. Metro Man took me over to the nursing home. My mom was on the bed speechless, I stayed there with here until the evening of the next day. I asked Mr. Metro Man if I should go to school on Sunday and he told me to stay with my mom and comfort her. Monday came around and I was still there by her side along with my brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, and Aunts.

Around 4 o'clock she started to breath less and there were pauses in her breathing. It went from 10 secs to 20 secs and then to 30secs. When it got to 40 secs I knew it was about to stop. I counted 40 more seconds and she had stopped breathing for good. I broke down in tears and squeezed her hand. The first thought that came to my mind was to draw a picture of her in the state that she was in. She looked calm, peaceful and one tear fell out of her right eye. I pulled out a piece of white paper and grabbed a pen. I captured her face and upper body in the picture.

At first I thought about not going back to school but my Mentor and Dad Mr. Metro Man told me that I can't stop now because she is gone. I have to keep succeeding and rising above the influence. When I got back to school I was still down but I kept a smile on my face and remembered why I was here. I'm here to get an education, help people, represent for X2rep, my frat ΚΑΨ, and promote this University. All of those thoughts along with Mr Metro Man's encouragement and wisdom helped me to overcome that feeling of being alone.

Now I dedicate everything to my mom because I know she's watching me and she's always beside me. When I train with the boxing team we don't just box, we "Fight for the Cure and For the Future". When I run, I "Run for the Cure". While I'm in class I bust my butt because I know how important my education was to my mom. Instead of doubting myself and feeling sorry I channel that energy into something positive. The more I give, the more I receive.

When some of my residents have problems with death in their family they come to me for help and guidance. My struggle now becomes a story to help my collegiate brothers and sisters. Some days it's not easy, I find myself just looking at the clouds as I walk to class, just thinking about my mom being up there. When I really need to feel her presence I play her voicemail back and listen to it. That voicemail connects me to her and I look at our old pictures from when we were younger; it helps me remember the good times.

Dealing with the death of a love one can be hard if you don't pray, don't have the right people around you, don't have anyone to talk to, and don't have an outlet to relieve your stress. Everybody's outlet is different. Some people sing, some draw, some write, some box, some run, some play ball, and some make music.

Whatever your outlet is hone in on it and use it to channel that negative energy into something that you like that can benefit someone else.

UMES Family!

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Monday, October 8, 2012

The UnSpoken Word - The A,B,C's To Tying A Tie

The UnSpoken Word

by UMES Senior Vicente Hernandez

The A,B,C's To Tying A Tie

The pivotal moment in a young mans life is learning how to tie a tie. Not only does it create amazing opportunities for the individual, but it also signifies a conscious sense of change. To better explain that let's look at how we actually tie the tie.

Step One: The Cross-Over

It could possibly be the most symbolic part to the tie. It is like a subconscious statement saying you are switching into a new realm of professionalism and ready for change. It's the idea that you are not necessarily leaving your old self behind, but are transforming into a better you.

Step Two: The Double Wrap Around

This stage you are wrapping the longer end of the tie around the top corners. Making something like a "V" shape where the tie meets. I call this the securing your foundation stage of your life. The wrapping around the two corners and creating the shape is like finding what your good at and defining yourself. Your are saying that you know this is who you are and your going to act as such.

Step Three: The Pull It Together

In this step we are taking the longer part again, wrapping it around the whole tie, putting it up the back, and pulling it down placing it in the little pocket you created in the front. Yes a lot to take in, but this is the mot important step. This is how you finish your beautiful creation. I imagine this step relates to pulling all that you learned in your growth as a person thus far and putting it together. This step also requires patience, it doesn't always look good the first time. Which brings me to my final step.

Step Four: The Personalize

This is where you edit and adjust the tie to fit you perfectly. You already have the tie set up and around your neck. You're just making it look good and suit you. This is the moment in life when you realize the small things you need to fix about yourself and simply adjust it.

I think about tying a tie in relation to my life. For a young man growing in this life, it's important to find out who you are by where you've been and investing in what will make you better.

Be blessed,

Vicente Hernandez

UMES Family!

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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Thinking Positively

Because I Said So

by UMES Senior Marina Anoh

Thinking Positively

Have you ever felt like giving up? Have you ever wanted to say enough is enough, I’m through? Well, I have.

Last week I was in the mist of going through my daily routine. I was thinking I was going to be going to class, planning for my older sister’s wedding, talking to friends, and going to work. Suddenly it was like the worst thing that could ever happen, happened. I lost my keys and after that it was like a chain effect. It was one thing after the other. After losing my keys I realized I didn’t have my bridesmaids dress for the wedding, and didn’t know if it would come on time. Then I received a call from my job saying they forgot I had somewhere to go and had me scheduled for the whole weekend. On top of all this I forgot to pay my phone bill, so now my phone was off and I had no way of communicating with the outside world. Talk about bad luck right?

The next day I was on my way to get my bus ticket in the SSC. As I was walking, I realized that the time on the wall and the time on my wrist watch were different. I panicked. What time was right? I asked the lady at the ticket window what the time was and yes, you guessed it, my time was incorrect and my bus was due to come in 20 minutes. That wasn’t that bad of news until my friend ran up the steps and told me that the bus was early and was outside. I asked the lady for my ticket as I preordered it online, she seemed not to be finding my name and was very reluctant to give me a ticket. She finally found my ticket and gave it to me. I ran down the steps like a crazy woman who thought the building was on fire. I saw the bus doors close. I yelled for the driver to stop and he did, I got on the bus and was on my way to Delaware.

As I was looking for a seat I saw one by the back, so I went to take my seat. All was fine until the bus made a stop in Salisbury, MD. People got off the bus and more people got on. There was a woman who decided out of all the open seats on the bus she wanted to sit next to me. It would just be my luck that she had a cold. She sat next to me sneezing and coughing for the whole 2 hour drive down to Delaware. Talk about being upset, I was furious. When I got off the bus my father picked me up and we went to the hotel and once again, you guessed it, I was sick. I could not believe it. Out of all the weeks for something like this to happen to me it would have to be this week. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. My father fixed me some tea and gave me some medication to feel better. When he left the room I just sat there looking at the wall asking why. Why is this happening to me? I wondered what I have done for this to be taking place. My sister walked into the room and said, “Just think positively.” I looked at her like she was crazy. She sat next to me and said the only person that could turn my luck was me and if I think positive, then positive things would happen. So I decided to give it a try, what else could really happen to me right? I had nothing to lose and it turned out she was right, as soon as I stopped thinking about the negative things that were taking place and looked at the good things, I started having a better day. I was so happy. I now see that just like everything else in life, things are what you make of them. I now know the power of thinking positively and I would advise others to do the same.

Don’t throw in the towel no matter how bad things get.

Just think positively.

Why? Because I said so.

UMES Family!

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Monday, October 1, 2012

An Exclusive Amber Rant: Grammar Check

                                                              A Dash of Am
                                                 by UMES Senior Amber Green

An Exclusive Amber Rant: Grammar Check

Today, I was planning out my day while riding the UMES Shuttle to campus.

9:30 Meeting….11:00 job interview in Salisbury…12:30 brainstorming session with a friend…

The shuttle stops at Arden’s. A herd of half-dressed and overly dressed students climbed on.

Call daddy…check up on my big head brother…thank mommy for the money in my account…

A very loud and boisterous voice broke through my thoughts.

“GIRL!! WHAT TIME IT IS??!”

Pause. Are you serious?

It bothers me to see this ugly green squiggly line for the above quote I just typed. Microsoft grammar check is possibly thinking I’ve lost my mind or worst, became a product of my environment. Like seriously, why we are paying this outlandish tuition if we aren’t going to at least show that we are learning something. I’m giving some people the benefit of the doubt because study shows, according to an article on OutsidetheBeltway.com, 73% of entering freshman aren’t ready for college.

But still -_____-

We learned Basic English in elementary school.

“Well, that’s how we talk where I’m from.”

Shut up. Then go back there if you aren’t going to at least return home showing mommy and daddy that their money is being put to good use.

“You just talk white.”

Oh. This one is my favorite response. Talking with correct grammar and pronouncing my words is “talking white?” That’s funny.

I am not saying that I do not use slang. I can say, “Cise me with a McDouble” real quick. Though, to go to extent of making it a habit at a higher learning institute is backwards to me. I don’t know. I can go on for hours on this topic and others. Like for instance, what possess some girls to walk out their room with their hair wrapped and in their pajamas? It kills me. That’s not cute. That’s not “comfortable.” That’s lazy at its finest. But that is another post!

Much Love

UMES Family!

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