Bittersweet Time of Year

Terry Smith

Director of the UMES University Writing Center

Bittersweet Time of Year

This is a bittersweet time of year.  Two of my friends and colleagues here at UMES recently posted on Facebook about their sadness at reaching the end of the semester with their students, and I couldn’t agree more. 

It seems that activity after activity keeps reminding us of the end—the end of the semester, the end of our time with our current students, and, especially bittersweet, the end of our time with graduating seniors. 

On the last Thursday of classes, I had a meeting of my new tutors.  But, the evening before the meeting, I decided to include food and drink, so I invited the four seniors who are leaving me to attend as well.  And all of them did so. They enthusiastically told the newly hired four tutors of their positive experiences in the Writing Center, and all mentioned how much they would miss it.  It just reminded me of how much I will miss them. 

Oh, I’m excited for them:  Two are English majors who have been accepted into master’s degree programs in English, one is an Exercise Science major moving on to graduate work in Physical Therapy, and one is a Math Education major, who is moving on to prepare for a teaching internship. They were all treasured members of my Writing Center family whom I feel I have gotten to know well in the past four months.  I care about them; I’m invested in them.  They filled the Center with personality and taught me a great deal about what makes an effective Writing Center.  And I had similar experiences as several regular clients of the Writing Center told me that they were graduating that as well. 

Later that same day, I met with my final Honors Technical Writing class.  And what a group they were!  We had an incredibly positive semester, and I was incredibly impressed with their final projects:  instructional manuals on topics ranging from How to Prepare for a UMES Pageant to How to Write a C++ Computer Program.  I saw exemplary work from students with strong enough averages to receive A’s with mediocre projects.   But that shows who these students are:  young people with a true passion for and commitment to learning.  Oh, I’ll get to see most of them again, especially now that I am in the Writing Center so much, but I’ll never get to work with them as closely again.  Although not as painful, I was still sad to see that day end. 

I don’t know how the students feel, but I know how I feel about the end of the semester.  Certainly, I’ll be relieved to put the heavy workload behind me for a few weeks, but, like my colleagues, I will miss the wonderful young people with whom I have been working closely for the past 14 weeks.  Although I have been teaching a long time and have worked with many students over the years, the young people I worked with this fall in the Writing Center and in class are truly special.  Of course, I’m sure I’ll feel the same way about the students with whom I work this spring.

I wish all of the young people with whom I worked this fall a restful and enjoyable break.  And, when those who did not graduate return for Spring 2013 rejuvenated and ready to learn, I remind them to stop by to visit because I miss them already J.  

UMES Family!

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Leave Your Regrets at the Door

An Elective on Perspective

                                                     by UMES Junior Brittany Johnson 

Leave Your Regrets at the Door

Alas, here we are at the end of another semester. In three days I’ll be at graduation ceremonies. I’ll watch many of my friends walk across a stage, in a building, on a campus where they will never again be; excluding the occasional visit. They are people who are close to me, closely acquainted with me, and others that I should have gotten closer to. But, that sounds regretful; I’m not supposed to have regrets, right? Honestly, how are you supposed to handle end of the semester regrets? Do you carry them over into the next? Or do you wipe the slate clean in hopes of them never resurfacing with the risk of history repeating itself. I live in my head. I rehearse situations more than I interact in them. I’m forever overanalyzing every situation. What if I was the one walking across the stage? Would I be carrying regrets and “what if’s” across with me? If I graduated at the end of this semester, I would have plenty of regrets. Just this week one of my friends told me that he doesn’t regret anything that he’s ever done. He isn’t proud of a lot of things, but he doesn’t regret them.

Thinking of myself, on the other hand, I agonize over every step that may have been misdirected. I have regrets before I know the end result of my decisions. What good does it do? It usually does no good at all. People carry regret to their death beds; sometimes it’s the reason that they’re there. So, maybe I should consider my friend’s “live life with no regrets” motto. In most cases, regret and change are not interchangeable; neither is one a precursor for the other. People have carried regret with them for years and continued the same behaviors that caused whatever it is that they regret. Regret is the equivalent of looking in the mirror with your hands tied behind your back; you can’t change a thing, all you can do is look at the problem and not many take the opportunity to keep it from reoccurring. 

Regret triggers guilt, sadness, anger, contention with self, and invalidation of self. If you regret enough of your decisions, then you start to distrust yourself. Second guessing your first mind yields more options, and more options aren’t always a good thing. This semester I’m going to make a conscious effort to refrain from distressing over my dissatisfactions. Instead, I will take note and change my behavior where needed. 

See you guys in the spring!

You’ve just taken, An Elective on Perspective.

UMES Family!

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Times Flies, When You’re Having Fun

                                                                                  Regurgitating Thoughts 

                                                Real Thoughts from your Average Chick

                                                     By UMES Senior Jordan Hamilton

                                                          

Times Flies, When You’re Having Fun  

I remember it like it was yesterday, a tear trickled down my cheek as we approached the campus. It was time to say our goodbyes. The two people I relied on for 18 years of my life would be leaving me to grow and mature on my own for four long years. I was scared, but excited at the same time. These would be the longest four years of my life, but it was up to me to make the most of it.

                                   Fast forward 4 ½ years later >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Time truly does fly. It feels like it was just yesterday I was waving goodbye to my support system. I always envisioned college would be exactly the way they portrayed it on the big screen and I must say that for the most part the vision was real. These four years have had plenty of ups and down, I had my moments when I wanted to give up but for the most part college was the best experience of my life. I can say that I truly grew up and matured over these long 4 ½ years. Not only did I find myself, but I found love and I learned to balance. Let’s not get it twisted, I also had several moments where I had to tell myself to “BE REAL”, I lost the love I gained and fell off balance a time or two. I wouldn’t have been able to keep my composure if it wasn’t for the grace and mercy of God. When I couldn’t think straight and I wanted to give up, HE spoke to me and reminded me that the end was closer than I thought. College is truly what you make it. My freshman year was one of the best years of my life; I met some great people and had some of the greatest experiences in my life. As the years dragged along, I can’t say that they all measured up to the bliss I experienced during my first year, but they were worth it. I came to college young, naïve and not without a true understanding of who I was or who I wanted to become over the years. The end is finally near and I can say with a smile on my face that although I fell ten times, I got up another ten. I found my true self, I learned what I did and didn’t like, I learned the true meaning of love and how a heartbreak feels, I made and lost friends, my grades dropped, my grades exceeded my expectations, I lived and I learned. If it wasn’t for the experiences I had throughout my college journey I honestly don’t know if I would be the same person. I met some great people, friends as well as mentors/teachers and I will never, ever forget them. Although UMES may not have been the first choice I had on my lists of colleges when I was applying, I don’t think that my experience in college would have been the same if I had attended somewhere else. I have memories to last a lifetime and I am proud to say that I called the University of Maryland Eastern Shore my home for those few years of my life.

          Once a hawk, always a hawk, I will forever bleed maroon and grey for the rest of my days.

UMES Family!

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“Playing to the Imaginary Audience”

                                                              An Elective on Perspective
                                                     by UMES Junior Brittany Johnson
                                              

“Playing to the Imaginary Audience”

Is all attention good attention? We know that in the entertainment world the overall consensus is yes. But, for everyday people who receive absolutely no royalties for how many times their names are mentioned, is it? Every person is playing to an invisible audience. Although we can sometimes visually see our audience, or some of us the lack thereof, intentions we don’t know, emotions we can’t always read, and opinions cannot be inferred.  Is what you portray being seen, or is it being lost in transmission and being brought across as something else? The Invisible audience syndrome often results in a paranoia of looking foolish, being evaluated, and making mistakes. It’s easy to conclude that anyone who is afraid to make mistakes or look foolish will pass on opportunities that could possibly profit bring great results. Being in college especially you have to be able to control these tendencies to succumb to your imaginary audience so that “they” don’t hinder your progress. College is known for the experimentation that takes place on its campuses across the globe; however, the habitual experimentations that take place aren’t known for being positive: binge drinking, fights, partying, skipping classes, drugs, explicit sexuality, etc. Why not experiment with jobs, organizations, studying techniques, internships, protests, and even majors? Maybe because that’s categorized under “doing too much” and we don’t want to fluster our imaginary audience.  

In America we are empowered by freedom of speech and expression of self, but we feel awkward helping someone pick up their plate that they dropped in the café. Yes, this has happened. The café was full, and she was carrying a huge plate. In fact, it was so huge that she didn’t even pick up her own plate. She quickly faded into the crowd because she was embarrassed in front of her audience. Only this time, it wasn’t invisible. Their expressions exposed their every thought and made plain their primary sentiment—comedy--. What happens when your invisible audience is made visible? Oh, that’s a game changer. The people for whom you’ve been practicing, their arrival just came. Do you change your actions in any way? Or do you keep giving them the same show? I’ve seen people act completely different when someone is around versus it being just them and maybe one other person. If you’re that easily changed, your character hasn’t been set.

You are now a puppet on a stage reacting to the partialities and indifferences of your imaginary audience, being pulled by their imaginary strings. “They” have hindered your development, and you can’t even pick them out of a lineup. You are a victim of the unanswered question, “Who’s done it!?” Unless, you count yourself as a culprit since this is your monster that you created. Your imaginary audience’s preferences correlate with your insecurities. A person who is uncomfortable asking questions in class assumes that everyone else in class already knows the answer, leaving them to be the only one who’s struggling. Or a woman who has never walked in heels before will feel walking across campus to be a monstrous ordeal because everyone will be looking at her feet wondering why her ankles are trembling. C’mon guys, we have to do better than this. In reality, 90% of the class is just as lost as you are, and 80% of the other girls on campus are looking at your feet and wondering where you got those fabulous shoes. We put thoughts in people’s heads that have never even formed. We see our audience as judgmental ‘frenemies’ who we try to appease at the expense of self. It’s common to do. So, while we’re playing to our imaginary audience, let’s give them something worth watching. Be innovative, respectful, strong, hardworking, courteous, good hearted, honest, and intelligent. These aren’t things often seen; your show will sell out.

You’ve just taken, An Elective on Perspective.

UMES Family!

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“Oh, that’s what happened?”

An Elective on Perspective

by UMES Junior Brittany Johnson

“Oh, that’s what happened?”

At the beginning of each new year, New Year’s resolutions are often made. Well, for me, I make my resolutions at the end of each semester. Here we are, right before Thanksgiving break. I’m already promising myself what I’ll do better next time, and threatening myself to do as much as I can right now. Thus, I’ve been brought to my next revelation. I am an “after the fact” chick. You know, one of those “…oh” moments; except it’s not a moment, it’s continuous. It happens after conversations, tests, assignments, presentations, arguments, complete classes, and even relationships. We’ll just say that it befalls during my life moments in general. I understand it all…after the fact.

How does this work being in school? It doesn’t. Trust me, I’m a junior. I’ve been at this for a while and I’ve been hitting the same brick wall for 5 semesters. I tell myself that this semester will be it; I’ll concentrate, give procrastination its walking papers, and routinely study for each of my classes each day. Needless to say that doesn’t happen. Nothing even close to my aforementioned resolution occurs. Why? Because I’m miss “after the fact”; how I can be ahead of the game and a step behind at the same time? I do not know. *cue violin*

This has led me to my next realization; each moment deserves its own consideration. Not many people evaluate each moment as its own span of time encompassing requirements that need to be met in order to profit the best possible outcome. I’ve come across difficulties that I’ve let get away from me without being conquered because I was caught up with other things that shouldn’t have been a factor. I’ll do my Biochemistry homework and subsequently forfeit doing my Nutrition in the Life Cycle worksheets. If I’ve gotten an A on one test, I won’t worry about the C on another. If I don’t talk to one person anymore, it’s okay because I still have other friends. When in reality, if my thought process didn’t include EVERYTHING in my life I would be able to effectively decipher each situation and handle it with the attentiveness that it deserves to ensure that every aspect of my life has been handled by me; instead of my thoughtlessness because my mind was elsewhere.

And where is elsewhere, you ask? Not here! Therefore, it doesn’t matter right now. You would be surprised what you can accomplish with a clear head. Calm down, breathe, focus, refocus, and then handle your business. Don’t bring yesterday’s thoughts into today’s conversation because they may no longer be relevant; facts, people, and due dates change overnight. You can only be weighed down when you carry one situation into another. Free your mind and the rest will follow. *Insert baseline*  

You’ve just taken, An Elective on Perspective.

UMES Family!

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My Secret Addiction

Terry Smith

Director of the UMES University Writing Center

My Secret Addiction   

Terry Smith, Director of the UMES University Writing Center

I have a confession:  for years, I have had a secret addiction.  And now, in case I have all kinds of illicit thoughts running through your minds, I will tell you:  my addiction is reading.   I always have one or more books underway, and now that I have a Kindle, it is all too easy to acquire more books when I finish with one.  I hear of a book, and I download the free sample.  I receive recommendations from friends, and I download the free sample.  I receive recommendations from Amazon, and I download the free sample.  And then, all too often, I buy one or more of those books.  As I tell my close friends, they seem to just “come through the air”; buying for an e-book reader is so much easier than going out to a store.  But I have to wonder: is my healthy addiction shared by my students?

I have had this addiction all my life.  Although I don’t remember learning to read, I remember starting school in first grade and reading all of the first-grade books and then, with a teacher who clearly believed in accommodating individual needs, reading all of the second-grade through fifth-grade books.  Once I got started, I couldn’t stop. And I remember going to the library to select more books for home as one of the highlights of my week.  I also remember being accused more than once by my family of “having my nose stuck in a book.”  I assume they wanted me to interact more with them.

When I was in high school, I was a member of a group of students who recruited a faculty advisor and formed the Literary Club.  Our goal, achieved by me and most of the others, was to read the 50 great classics of all time according to some list then published and discuss as many as possible in our group.  And so we launched into greats including Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment and Hardy’s Tess of the D’Urbervilles, two of my favorites for reasons I don’t fully remember.  What was truly amazing was that this was totally a student initiative. 

Although I started college as a Spanish major, it is probably little surprise that I changed to an English major with a Spanish minor halfway through my freshman year.  There were practical reasons for the change, but surely my love of reading had something to do with it.  What might be more surprising is that I always wanted to specialize in writing rather than literature.  My undergraduate degree was in English Education, but I sought out graduate degrees in my chosen field of writing:  I earned a Master of Arts in Composition and a Doctor of Philosophy in Rhetoric and Linguistics.  This is not a contradiction, however. Both relate to my love of language.  For without reading, what is the purpose of writing? 

What surprises me is how relatively uncommon a passion for reading or even an interest in reading is among college students today.  As Director of the Writing Center, I often tell my tutors and tutees that there is one way most likely to improve their writing.  Most believe that I’m going to tell them to write more, but the answer is to read more.  It is from reading that we gain not only knowledge about diverse places, people, and ideas but also a wealth of narrative techniques and language skills.  Further, when we have a book to read, we are never lonely or bored. 

Of course, this addiction to reading can come full circle.  I do remember launching an active campaign to make my grandson a reader when he spent the summer with me the year he was 5.  And was I ever successful: he loves reading!   I have been under a mandate from my now 15-year-old grandson, who read The Life of Pi this summer as a summer reading requirement for school, to finish the book before he would go with me to see the movie.  He says that there is no way the movie can be as rich as the book, and I’ll miss too much if I depend on the movie for this great work of fiction exploring culture, religion, and philosophy—not to mention incredible adventure: you might have seen the movie trailers with an Indian youth and a Bengal tiger on a lifeboat.  To be honest, now that I have finished my formal education, I usually read popular fiction, not classic literature, and I had motivational problems at first.  But, over Thanksgiving break, I finished reading The Life of Pi, and I am really grateful to Michael for insisting I read it.  It is a great book, and I highly recommend it to you.  And now I get to see the movie.

I know I am not totally alone in my addiction to reading here at UMES since I have had animated conversations about books with students both in the Writing Center and in my classes.  One of my Technical Writing students told me that she loves to read and is literally forcing herself not to start a new book, so she will focus on her coursework and not get “lost” in a book before the semester ends.  Oh, I know that feeling:  wanting to read when there are other tasks to complete. 

So, how about you?  Are there any other passionate readers out there?  Do any of you have any book recommendations for me?  After all, Winter Break is coming, and, though I have other tasks to complete, I will surely find many hours for my beloved addiction.  Or, better yet, stop by the Writing Center in Wilson 1107 to view our reading recommendations bulletin board and to add your own because reading is an addiction I want to share. 

UMES Family!

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The accuracy of references in this essay, (including all opinions, quotes, references,  proper names, dates, references to documents, literature, film etc.) are the responsibility of Terry Smith and have not been fact checked by the Real Life @ UMES Blog Team.

The Real Life @ UMES Blog is a place for our commentary and opinions about what life is really like @ the University of Maryland Eastern Shore. It is not designed to express the views and opinions of the University as a whole. Peace.