You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea
by UMES Senior La-Basha Alexander
My Almost Big Break Pt.2
Let’s see, where did we leave off?
In my last post My Almost Big Break Pt. 1, I had just found out that I had to wait to audition for the BET Black College Tour. I waited and let’s just say, things didn’t turn out how I expected! When I officially received the news via email, to be honest, I wasn’t surprised.
The auditions were nerve wrecking. For some reason, being judged by your peers is much worse than it seems. I thought that being in front of familiar faces would make my audition a bit smoother but it was all of the opposite. As they asked me about my experience and to perform the materials on the script; the confidence that I had that was skyrocket high, plummeted to the ground and I was ready to crash and burn. I became more and more disappointed in myself the more I talked.
All that went through my mind were thoughts of, “What are they looking for?” “Am I showing my personality” “Is my voice projecting”? YES, all of these thoughts were on my mind. I would start with a great introduction then let my doubts consume me and stop. I stopped and started over about four different times. And by that point, I just wanted to walk out and quit. And what was worse was that, the people judging me have classes with me, see me at lunch and around campus… I’m laughing now, but no one wants to be just ok in front of their peers, not when you know you can do better.
Now I see that possibly I was overthinking the entire process, which is what I’m epically great at doing and if I ever audition for anything else, I need to just breathe, relax and take control of my thoughts and actions in those moments.
Some of you may be thinking that I totally blew the chance of a lifetime, no doubt. But I don’t believe that my career in broadcasting is over, heck… it just started. If I had a dime for every time someone told me that I only had one shot to make it, I’d be rich. And if I actually listened to them, I imagine myself going broke from buying all of the crap they sold. You learn from every mistake, you learn from every blunder and you use that as a way to measure growth, or at least I do. I think to myself, “OK, you were great at this, and you can work at this.” I’ve never been extremely hard on myself because I know that I have another chance to improve.
Through this entire process, one thing that I have learned is whether you think you are a success or a failure is your choice. The same applies to whether you show your strengths or weaknesses. Every day you choose to bring all you’ve got to the table, and even then, sometimes all you’ve got isn’t going to cut it, but you still try.
That’s what I have to keep telling myself because I know that in due time................. all that is for me, will be.
Until next time,
xoxo, Basha
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